At what point does a person step forward and say, I am……whatever choice you make?
For me, knowing what I wanted to do in life came late. The problem wasn’t lack of ideas. Or even lack of passion. I simply spread myself too thin. I had lots of talents, many skills, and way too many interests. How was I supposed to pick and choose?
Filling out that little blank place—you know, the one that says occupation—always made me uncomfortable. I resented being defined as a ‘housewife’ and I was more than a ‘mother’. But what was I supposed to call myself?
Self-employed indicated getting paid for a skill; I couldn’t, in all honesty, put that down. I couldn’t even say the words out loud when somebody would ask me what I did for a living. Not without putting qualifiers in front. I’m hoping. I want to be. My dream is. I couldn’t just say: I am….
Epiphany is a wonderful word. By definition, epiphany is: a sudden intuitive leap of understanding, especially through an ordinary but striking occurrence.
I experienced such an event. A moment in time when I was blinded by a thought, so powerful, it changed my life. It happened in an art class, while putting paint on paper. I was captured by the flow of the paint, how the water carried it exactly where I wanted it. How the brush, the paper, and I were one. I looked up to see the art instructor looking at my painting and telling me: “I teach hundreds of students every year. Some have the touch, some haven’t. You do.”
Such a simple sentence, spoken without thought, made a profound impact on my life. I walked out of that class with my thinking changed. That was the defining moment in time when I realized that I had to stop splintering my time and energy, and learn how to focus.
I had to stop bouncing from project to project. Stop accumulating ‘stuff’ and choose my direction. And I had to stop putting ‘qualifiers’ in my sentences. I’m not ‘trying’. I don’t ‘hope’ to be. I am.
For a long time I had to ‘fake it until it became real.’ I said I was a writer way before I actually believed it. I have studied, learned, focused, and worked hard to hone my skills. I made personal goals and accomplished them. I have a long list of goals and projects lined up before me. The qualifiers are gone.
When asked what I do for a living, I have no hesitation in filling in the blank. I no longer fill in housewife. Under occupation, I put…artist/writer. I’m done with qualifiers. I am…
Yes you definitely are! I love your words…your paintings…your inspiration! Thank you!
Thank you for stopping by. I’m trying to make Sunday’s website update day. Hoping to add something new every week.
Powerful words.
Is it just me or did your count jump in the last few days. I’m so glad people are catching your words…….My job is to listen to you, not ever advise you. An compliment your work………
You do a good job. Yes, my numbers jumped a lot and that makes me very happy. I love when people read my posts. And like it even more when they comment.
I loved the way you put this. I am experiencing this now – spread too thin. In fact, I typed the word “focus” on my cell phone a couple of weeks ago because I feel that is what God is calling me to do. Now I just need to know which direction….
When I come home for Thanksgiving, I really want to sit down with you. Partly for the work I need to do on Josh’s stuff but also for conversation. I have so many questions only you can answer. Thank you for stopping by my website and reading. I’m going to add new items on Sundays.
Hi there,
I am pleased to come to your Website. It is absolutely beautiful. The above picture is exquisite. And, I like the clean lines of it.
I have been on the HTTS & HTRYN for over a year but never did post. When I saw that you opened up here I just had to come and see you.
Your post is right on target. I think that when we are asked what our occupation is….then it is a good idea to confirm it….A Writer.
Jan
Hi, Jan
I’m so glad you came over. I love it when Holly’s students can connect up in places other than the writing forum. We’re a community and stronger together than we are apart. The painting on the header is some of my own artwork. I’m glad you like it. Stop in often. My intention is to add new content every Sunday.
Carol
😀 I was tickled a few months ago when a friend introduced me to his girlfriend as “This is Lindsay, she’s a writer.” And this guy works with me, at my day job, but instead of “This is Lindsay, I work with her at MTS”, I was a writer, to him. Regardless that I spend full time hours working tech support for the local cable and internet company, the people around me know that my identity is far more attached to being a writer than to the job that pays the bills.
Isn’t it a good feeling? I’m so glad you stopped by and left a comment. Making connections with other writers, through this website, is give me a creative blast of energy. I so love the connections.
It’s an awesome feeling, a little bit of validation from my friends. I’ve been having a great time getting my own website together too, setting it up the way I want it, finding the right background and such. Trying to make sure I post once a week is a bit of a challenge, but I’m trying to keep up.
I have to keep a schedule or time slips away from me. It’s easier if I just do something at the same time every week. I’m less apt to get lost. Let me know when you’re up and running and I’ll be over. Thanks for stopping by.
Beautiful post, as always, Carol. You have this ability to peer into your own life, your own problems, and pull out the gems and inspiration that the rest of us can feed on and reciprocate to others. Thank you for spreading your message of determination and conviction.
Emily, I’ve had a lifetime of, not hardship, but living through hard circumstances. I have survived by learning necessary life skills. I want to pass what I’ve learned to others. I strongly feel that I’m supposed to do this. I don’t know where my words will fall, but I hope they nourish, encourage, and entertain. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
You are doing great…I am sure it surprises some from our class.. Awesome girl
Linda, I can only hope so. I’m having so much fun and that’s all that matters. I’m doing what I want to do. Thank you for stopping by.
Hey, Carol, Seleane from HTTS, WriteStuffNovels, and OldWorldWriter. 😀 And I’ve gone through most of your site and you have got me thinking. I think I’ve lost the fire for pushing forward and writing and creating and achieving my dreams that I see in you, and it has me looking at myself more closely. So thank you for that. Your words have inspired me as well, as have your actions. A good kick in the pants and slap on the back of the head.
And if I could, I’d love to talk to you one on one when you have the time, through email.
I’d love to talk with you. One thing I discovered is, life goes in cycles. Ebbs and flows. There are busy periods and quiet times. Usually, when I have a quiet time, it’s more of a regrouping and gathering inward before I get enough time and energy to push forward again. If what you have is a true passion, you can’t escape from the urge. It will sprout and unfold until there isn’t anything you can do but release the energy back outward. I’ll touch base with you on the writing group. It’s a little more private.