Cookie Press 1 C.L.Roth 0

I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person. I’m an excellent reader. I usually understand directions. Yet a simple cookie press has brought me down.

I love Spritz cookies. They are one of my favorite holiday treats. While at my youngest sister’s house over Thanksgiving holiday her daughter, Lindsey, made Spritz cookies. They were beautiful to look at, and tasty to eat.

Every year, I go to great lengths to make Christmas goodie plates to give away to family and friends. It’s the one activity that truly makes me feel the Holiday Spirit. But I always avoided making cookies that used a cookie press.

Why, you ask? Because I can’t work the blasted cookie press. It’s an evil machine, deceptively simple, and diabolically cruel.

I decided, once again, to give Spritz cookies a try. So I mixed up the dough. It’s an easy dough to make and only takes ½ cup of sugar. We won’t say how much butter goes in it. The less I think about fat during the Christmas season, the happier I am.

I put the cookie press together using the Christmas tree pattern. No problems, yet. I made sure the batteries in the press were new. (Yes, the press I use is battery operated.) I filled the tube with cookie dough. And pressed the button.

I could hear the whir. Batteries working. I could see the little rod inside the cookie gun turning. I looked at the bottom of the press. No cookie dough. I knew the dough was soft enough. I hadn’t even added all the flour the recipe called for.

But no dough. I admit, I may have a slight problem with patience. As in, not enough of it. But the blasted cookie dough should come out of the little holes in the bottom of the press. I pulled the dough-filled tube off the battery part and manually pushed the dough through. That worked.

So, I thought I’d just manually make the cookies. I could push the dough out just fine but what showed up on the cookie sheet wasn’t so nice. The dough wouldn’t come off of the press. It stuck to the end of the tube and I had to use a knife to pry it off.

Instead of cute little Christmas trees, I ended up with fat, misshapen blobs of dough. Tasty, buttery dough, but they weren’t cute, or pretty.

I switched to the pattern that left flat, ridged cookies. At least I could get those off without using the knife. But they were really thin. I could almost see the cookie sheet through the dough. I knew, when they baked, they wouldn’t be tender, melt-in-your-mouth morsels, but crisp, crunchy cookies. Not what I associate with Spritz cookies.

I finished fighting with the dough and popped them into the oven. A few minutes later, they were done. I ate a couple, because, while they may not be pretty cookies, they were hot cookies straight from the oven.
I bagged them up and had my husband take them to his cousin. He’ll eat anything.

I’m not making Spritz cookies this year. Not unless I can find a cookie press that actually works. I refuse to admit the problem is me. I’m sure it’s the batteries that are at fault. Not enough ‘oomph’ to push the dough through the tube. I’ll go back to my old reliable sugar cookie recipe and the beloved (and ancient) cookie cutters that I pull out every year.

This year, my grandchildren are old enough to help me decorate the cookies, and that’s way more fun for me. The cookie press is washed up, boxed up, and ready to go to my husband’s cousin. He’ll take anything. Gotta love family. I won’t be happy if I hear he’s making Spritz cookies this year and they turn out beautiful.

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